I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS OKAYYYYYY! OMG, YOU DID NOT GANG UP WITH MY PARENTS TO SURPRISE ME! omg! i hate you, and here i was, thinking you forgot my birthday. you suckkk. this is like the 2nd time i got surprised today! omg, everyone who reads this is gonna tell me how stupid i am to not have seen the hints. like what rachel said, becoming 18 has fried my brain. and omg! HANISTAR!!!! you helped them tooooo! and i actually believed your excuses!!! ARGHHHHHH. ok, i'm really stupid. thanks.
twin sis/bestie, i LOVE you for doing the surprise. it was the ULTIMATE present i could get. AND I DON'T NEED ANYMORE PRESENTS, i think a balloon suffices. nor do i need a card. cause i'll forever remember this day. thank you so much for making my day. I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!
; 4:02 PM
i know i haven't blogged in centuries, but i had this sudden urge to blog about my birthday and thank the many people who have made today such a memorable and enjoyable day for me. anw, i'll go in order of the ppl who wished me.
firstly, i've to thank my family for making my 18th birthday something i'll never forget. it was some sort of initiation to adulthood, i swear. i gotta learn how to drink alcohol cause its a family thing where everyone needs to know how to hold their drink, so i tried champagne. it was my 1st time drinking alcohol(yes, i know i'm innocent), and as much as i want to say its my last, i know my parents won't let it be. OMG, IT TASTED AWFUL and it was supposedly the best alrdy, don something? i think i've never tasted something so awful in my whole entire life. ok, i exaggerate, but i don't like alcoholic drinks. yuck! but anw, dinner was a nice affair, we had nice food(i suppose), and nice atmosphere. and most importantly, i got a watch from my brother and sis-in-law. how sweet right? considering he forgets my birthday for 17 years of my life. i swear, my sis-in-law probably reminded him and bought the present, and he just claimed part of the credit.
1. there's _____. i don't think _____ will see this, but all the same, i still wanna thank _____ for wishing me. its amazing how _____ can still remember my birthday.
2. there's _____. thanks for the wish and the present. you were the first to wish me at 1200am. unlike my mum, who came to chase me off to sleep at 12 plus, and didn't wish me until i ahem ahem, before she finally realised. and no present is too ugly, its the thought that counts. although your present hints that i'm vain, well, i'm not right?
3. SARAHJJJJ. i think you called me in the middle of the night when i was sleeping last year, hahaha. at least i was awake this time, too bad. thanks for screaming happy birthday in my ear in the morning at the canteen WHEN EVERYONE WAS THERE. i think you guys have a tendency to embarass me. andand, abt the not supposed to insult me day, well, it wasn't working, cause you insulted me the whole way. thanks for the surprise though, i really didn't expect that you all would surprise me. and getting shermaine of all ppl to detain me with all her stupid reasons of having to wait for her friends from dunnoe what class.
4. zhiyang! you're 2nd. haha, thanks for wishing me(: and even knowing its my birthday. and for the record, i am NOT the crazy woman.
5. MUUUUU(: fellow 03081991. i miss you so much and i miss the times we could celebrate our birthdays together. it was definitely double the fun. happy birthday to you too yeah? LOVES.
6. charmaine NG! dunnoe if you'll see this, oh but wtheck. gives me more reason to insult you. i think we've gotten so much closer this year cause of many certain similar topics like flabby, and other stuff. i really appreciate getting to know you better, all those bitching sessions, all those sessions where we'll laugh until its impossible to laugh anymore. i think we have the most awkward(est) conversations and we laugh at unfunny stuff. and its all because of you! but anw, thanks for everything dear, for even bothering to stay up to wish me.
7. gabriel. you are such a childish and busybody man. its a bit weird to share the same birthday with you, cause you're like 40 and i'm like 18. hahaha, big age gap huh
8. hanistar. youyou are just so damn sweet. you weren't 1st in wishing me, but nv mind, you were the first in wishing me in school! thanks for all those hugs and advice you've given me. it helps to know you're there. you cheer up yeah? i'm always here if you need me.
9, 10, 11, 12, 13. joshua, edward, colin, robin and jiasheng. thanks for the wish in facebook! and yes i did party hard/drink!
14. krystal. ok, this really came as a surprise. i don't recall talking to you in school, but you still bothered to wish me? thats really sweet and touching! thanks dear(:
15. pockthong. thanks for wishing me too. although i would rather you leave out the ah ma in all those birthday messages.
16. pinMA. thanks for wishing me. and the present too! it was really insulting, but funny at the same time.
17. kewei: thanks for the wish!
18: jinli: thanks for thw wish and the present. it was really very touching cause i know you all put some effort into it, instead of just buying random stuff.
19. sherman. thanks for the wish!
20. steven. you message is a bit filled with smileys huh. thanks for the wish(: and i'm not an old girl, thanks.
21. wen siu. thanks for the wish!
22. louise. thanks for the card dear! it was really really sweet. and 1 week in advance is crazy, omg. hahaha you kaisu or what.
23. SHERLOO. hello dear, were you purposely late today? anw, you really suck, i can't believe i believed all your stupid reasons for trying to detain me. i was so stupid! haha. but still thank you anw, for the cake and song(:
24. sus! you! thanks for celebrating my birthday today. and singing the song, even though it was kind of interrupted by mr seet, who actually wanted to confiscate my cake!
25. nishanthi. MIRRITATING! how are you? i haven't seen in like, oh 2 years? HAHAHA. and i guess you'll give me that diao face you always give me when i laughed like that. thanks for remembering my birthday for the past 2 years even after we've left cedar. take care dear, i'll be seeing you soon(:
26. MXTOH. YOU STUPID STUPID GRIL. HOW CAN YOU BE SO MEAN TO ME? the 'draw a picture of yourself' thing is really mean, omg. the 2 circles weren't even equal!! and the pictures!! omg! all so unglam!! how can you do this to me? and you showed the choir ppl all my unglam photos and the stick figure you drew? AHHHHH. you throw my face alrdy. but the description was really funny, haha. i laughed when i read it. thanks for the present(:
27. MARLI. i know you can't come to school to embarrass me, but asking your classmates to shout 'happy birthday' to me in the lecture theatre was totally uncalled for. but i still love you:D take care and come back soon kay?
28. syikin. thanks for wishing me dear, hope you'll be able to join us for an outing soon(:
29: yuelong. thanks for the message. AND I CAN READ CHINESE.
30. marcus. hello dear cousin, i am not very small, little or tiny. i'm actually 160cm. but thanks for remembering(:
31. wanling. omg! i miss you so much. its been really long since i've last saw you. take care and thanks for remembering.
32. 08s44 thanks for celebrating my birthday! and buying minty cake that really tastes like colgate. haha and girls: thanks for the stickers(: i do love stickers!
33. altos and a few choir ppl: thanks for the present guys! it was really thoughtful and sweet, although insulting. haha.
34. lastly, all the random ppl who wished me today. i don't know how you guys know, but thanks all the same(: i'm sorry i can't list out all of you, but i really gotta get ready for dinner now. and i can't exactly remember everyone, so whoever i left out, just know that i still appreciate whatever you guys did for me today.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
; 11:36 PM
is this the end of our friendship? after 5 years of tears and laughter, you're calling it off because of her. thanks for showing me how much i mean to you. i've told you before, i always want to be your best friend/twin sis, whatever. and that doesn't change. but if you wish to give me up as your friend, i won't say anything to stop you. if you think i haven't done enough as compared to ____, then i've got nothing to say.
thanks for all the happy memories you gave to me.
and you. it hurts so much when you act indifferent to me. even if things didn't work out, it doesn't mean we can't be friends.
Friday, March 06, 2009
; 6:01 PM
i cried so much today, i'm tired.
there's just so many things going on, i can't seem to cope. all around me, people are breaking down, and it pains me to see that. cause there's nothing i can do, i can't even take care of myself.
just 2 more days to cts, and i'm so unprepared. its like j1 all over again. i really don't want to experience failure yet again.
its soo unfair that ppl who skip/pon/sleep during lessons can actually do better than me. why is the world so unfair?
what have i done to deserve all of this?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
; 3:41 PM
its been two weeks since school's started and boy, am i exhausted. haha. this week has been fine, didn't have much stuff going on, got back both econs and maths, and i'm happy to say i've passed all 3 r papers. in your face ____.
the only thing worth mentioning was cny celebration, half day! yay(: house had some fashion walk thing and lion dance. although aquila's music was screwed up, it was overall ok. i had to wear this tight-fitting cheongsam which restricted me in a way that i can't sit or bend down. it was awfully uncomfortable. we didn't really do much so we can't expect to win. hahaha. but its alright, cheerleading champs is ours for the taking. hah. ended the celebrations with mass dances and lots of cheering. I LOVE MASS DANCE(:
and house den finally has food supplies, i can finally go and pig out there.
so anw, choir ended really early today, whoots! could go home and catch up on my sleep and all.
to bing and eugene: although i'm fairly sure you guys won't be finding this blog anytime soon, but if you happen to read my blog without my knowing, let's not emo any longer kay? bing, i know juggling house and soccer is hard, but you can do it! if not, the seniors wouldn't put you as capt. eugene: you always seem so happy and crazy, and i'll be a fool if i think you don't have your own problems. thanks for trying to stay happy and cheering us up even when you're down. we'll get through this.
oh and charmaine, i may not know what you're going through, but do cheer up too kay?
reply tags: jeanette: hello(: o8s44: who are you? sher: haha it wouldn't be effective cause half the time, i'll be laughing at you and your stupid actions. i know i have you all and i treasure each one of you very much. i'm sorry i haven't been able to meet you in the morning, sorry:/ i promise, next week i will. ZY: i know, and we're gonna get through this year. after that, i'm not giving them face anymore. marcus: haha no wonder you're a ladies man! such a sweet-talker. =P: i don't want! hahaha, see how lah. studies are still my first priority.
btw, if you're wondering abt the change in font size, its actually because its to cater to some people who are blind.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
; 11:26 PM
someone commented to someone that i'm vulgar. like i use the f word quite often. sorry. from now on, i'll try my very best to cut down on my vulgarities. so whenever i'm pissed, i'll say ____ you. okay?
and i'm sorry if you're hurt by my post, but i'm not gonna hide the fact that i'm really pissed at you.
; 10:17 PM
'we can't all be dreamers.'
i think that's about the only quote i can remember from lit book, sense of belonging. oh how i miss those times, when studies were interesting. i think i'm like the protagonist, always so impractical and unrealistic. i wish for this, i wish for that. i wish to get into Harvard, haha yeah i know its funny. cause i'm stupid right? f**k you. you don't know how much it hurts when you scoff at my dreams. we'll see who has the last laugh okay. i'm getting into Harvard or some other prestigious university no matter what.
hello everyone, today is a bad bad day. ogl refresher course was fun, i'm beginning to like the og, i'm glad i decided to give it another shot. choir wasn't as fun. firstly i had to rush out and abandon my lovely, newly-made friends, hah who am i kidding, i only made like err 3? haha but ok whatever. anw, as i was saying, i had to go early cause kwei messed up the timing, so in the end, choir ended like at 1.30++, and tuition was at like 4.45. like wth, what was i supposed to do to kill time? and some really nice friend of mine decided to ps me last minute to see her boyfriend. thanks. that was bloody nice. and on top of that, i HAVE NO MONEY AND NO E-ZLNK CARD. so how was i supposed to get my lunch? am i supposed to walk from siglap to parkway? and of course, she wouldn't give a damn about that right? cause her boyfriend's just so important. anw, i called my mum who was having some appointment to pick me up and she had to rush down just to pick me up. and oh, did i mention i was also freaking starving?! so i waited for 1 and a half hours in pain cause i'm so hungry, while my friend happily goes dating.
i never would have done what she did. or maybe i did. and if i did, i'm sorry. i just realised how terribly it hurts when someone does that to you.
i'm sorry but i'm not some toy you throw aside when your boyfriend comes along. you have to draw the line cause if you continue like this, when something happens, you'll find you have no friends to turn to. i'm not gonna be that patient idiot. go find someone else.
and a certain someone kind of embarrassed me today in front of people. and not like teasing or anything but that kind that really throws my face. i'm so freaking angry at that person. like hello? i don't think its funny, i just heh only BECAUSE i couldn't get the f**king note okay. i'm not like musically inclined or what so pls get off your almighty chair and see for once that not everyone has perfect pitch. and i'm trying my f**king best so i don't need those kind of smartass comments. you've no right to embarrass me like that. and the only reason why i don't fire back at you ( you know i have a bad temper) is because i respect you, and i don't wish to throw your face either. i could simply say yeah, i think its bloody funny, you not happy ah? so pls show some respect to me.
choir is bullshit okay. no one shows respect, its disgusting. as long as you're not good at singing, you'll be the laughing stock. as long as you're different, you're an outcast, you're ostracised. hello, you need to realise people have feelings. all those rumours i heard are damn true lah.
i've had enough lah. its hard to juggle choir/house/studies/tuition. honestly, i think i'm going crazy. i know some ppl may think, how hard can it be? its just choir afterall. haha, but you'll never know until you're in choir. its just so arghhh. and i'm not aiming for a pass you know? i'm actually aiming for all a's. and harvard, as you can see from above. i know ppl have done it before, but i'm not ppl, i'm nicole ng, if i cannot means i cannot. so stop pushing me off the edge alrdy. i'm trying my best!
whatever man, i'm just gonna give it 1 last shot before i quit. and since i've posted this, there's no turning back. after that, its goodbye, and i'm sorry man, if i let down my friends, but there's just a limit to how much shit i can take. i'm not someone you play around with, i'm an individual and i have my own opinions. you're not manipulating me.
i'm sorry if this post offends people, but honestly, right now when tears are running down my face, i don't give a f**king damn.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
; 7:29 PM
i am going to cry.
i am screwed up garbage.
its not supposed to hurt this much. i'm not supposed to feel remorse.
Friday, January 09, 2009
; 7:05 PM
today's the 9th and its amazing how time flies. it feels like just yesterday when i first entered vj and now i'm on my way to my 2nd and last year.
i've made many friends, but true friends are really hard to find. time and again, i let myself be hurt by those i consider important, yet i failed to see that i was invisible in their eyes. oh, how many times i have denied the truth, i'm such a fool. i rarely acknowledge those who have stood by me and were able to pick up on whatever that's troubling my mind. and to these people who have my back, i apologise.
i guess i'm as imperfect as everyone out there.
i'm about done with my r papers, and i hope that i've finally gotten back control over my studies. its quite discomforting to worry abt results, especially when i never had to. my mum doesn't want me to go overseas in june, and frankly, i don't want to go either. i'm not gonna make the same mistakes i did last year, no chance in hell. but when i think about all the fun i'll be missing...its such a hard decision to make :(
you know what? i'm not looking forward to orientation at all. maybe i won't go in the end, i'll just find some excuse to skip. why? cause i feel so unattached to the og. like i don't know people there, and its kinda late for me to like bond with people. i mean, it took me months to bond with comers. ok, forget it. you guys probably don't understand what i'm saying.
anyway, this post was really created because of this person who has made me experience so many ups and downs in our friendship. there are countless of times i have been let-down by you. you're always giving me these reasons, and i find i'm starting to doubt you. part of the reason as to why i doubt you is because you barely tell me anything anymore. remember how we used to tell each other everything? i know i'm a bad person, i should not eventhink of doubting you, but its just been too hard to push these negative feelings away. and some of the reasons you present me were extremely ridiculous. i don't understand how this person you've known for barely a year can make you forget someone who has befriended you for 5 years. am i that insignificant in your life? do i not interest you as much? or is it because i'm unable to hurt you as much as that person does?
maybe you feel i'm being demanding, so be it but i'm over giving in, i'm over pretending everything's fine. i've failed as a friend. i should have done more. and i should not have encouraged you down that road. that path is sinful and you know it. f**k! even your religion oposes it. i don't understand. i really don't understand what's going through your mind.
i know after all i've said here, we'll probably get into a big fight, but i won't forgive you this time. i cannot. not until you really understand what i meant. i can't have you going back to your old ways a week later. its just doesn't go that way.
sometimes its unbearable the way you treat me, but i still love you all the same. i just wish you treat me at least a margin better, because believe it or not, i treasure this friendship alot, and every little thing you do can break me. and i'm here to lend a listening ear, i'm not here as a trophy friend or something. i'm willing to stay up nights helping you solve your problems. but its only if you're willing to.
reply tags: elle: see what i meant? where's all those stuff you promised me? mingxin: since when! you alrdy got ahemm, pls be a little more faithful, or at least more discreet. haha. cause last time, i emo what. and i know i rock, thanks. sarahj: oh thanks, you only miss the annoying me part huh? great friend! lichu: how's everything going on? sunanda: oh wow, want a medal? ahah, kidding. thanks.
Cohesion
Name: Nicole NGG Age: 17 years old Date of Birth: August3 1991 Horoscope Sign: Leo
I am worth,$2,456,190 Nicoleng75@hotmail.com ADD me in Friendster/MSN
